


Hungover And Still Sad (But You're Here With Me)

by Anonymous_Cupcake



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Ash does his best, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Hungover Okumura Eiji, Hurt/Comfort, I keep writing these when I should be sleeping, M/M, Semi accurate depiction of hangovers, Sharing a Bed, They talk about feelings and hold each other a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26278729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Cupcake/pseuds/Anonymous_Cupcake
Summary: Eiji comes to terms with the aftermath of his drunken outbursts.--"This was the only thing I could make without possibly burning it beyond recognition. It's not your fancy Japanese food but I hope you enjoy it anyways, onii-chan." Ash teases, adding the only Japanese word he knows. Like he said, it wasn't anything extravagant, eggs and toast, but Eiji was grateful. He knew eating would help.As he ate, he couldn't help but glance up. Ash's own plate was abandoned by the stove as he watched Eiji eat, a hint of worry in his eyes despite his smile. Maybe it wasn't Eiji's place to say it but it was… weird. Surely Ash had better things to do right now.
Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 10
Kudos: 160





	Hungover And Still Sad (But You're Here With Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Turns out I'm much better at hurt rather than comfort. Hope it's still enjoyable though! (Can't write hungover characters to save my life but I hope it's somewhat accurate)

Eiji wakes up with one of the worst headaches he's ever had. Groaning, he buries his head under the blanket as the morning light blinds him. His three days old clothes smell like alcohol, sweat, and tears. Not exactly a good combination. Hiding under the blanket seemed to only make it worse.

  
  


… And he  _ really _ needed to pee.

After a quick internal debate, Eiji forces himself to get up. He can barely put one foot in front of the other, but he manages to make it to the bathroom without tripping. As he washes his hands he squints at the mirror, assessing the damage. His eyes are red and puffy, like he spent the entire night crying. His face was damp too, a combination of sweat and old tears. Not the worst he's looked after a hangover.

God, Ash probably had to deal with him. Or did he pass out before that? He tries to remember anything besides picking up a beer can but his mind draws a blank. And thinking too hard is beginning to hurt.

" _ Never again _ ."He decides as he begins the short walk back to the bedroom. Before he makes it, he finally registers the smell of food coming from the kitchen. He doesn't even know what time it is right now, but he knows he's supposed to be the one in the kitchen (if only to prove that he could be useful. There was some joy in cooking though.)

Despite his brain screaming at him to go back to bed, Eiji manages to follow the smell and is greeted to a rare sight of Ash wearing an apron. He's not sure where he got it from but it had a cute red heart on the front. The sound of eggs sizzling invaded his ears as he watched Ash dutifully make… breakfast? Eiji's pretty sure it's still morning.

"There's a glass of water by the table." Ash says, not looking up from what he's doing. Eiji nods and sits down, his legs grateful. He grabs the glass and nearly downs it, unaware of how thirsty he was up to this point. He manages to mutter a thank you as Ash puts a plate of food in front of him.

"This was the only thing I could make without possibly burning it beyond recognition. It's not your fancy Japanese food but I hope you enjoy it anyways, _o_ _ nii-chan _ ." Ash teases, adding the only Japanese word he knows. Like he said, it wasn't anything extravagant, eggs and toast, but Eiji was grateful. He knew eating would help.

As he ate, he couldn't help but glance up. Ash's own plate was abandoned by the stove as he watched Eiji eat, a hint of worry in his eyes despite his smile. Maybe it wasn't Eiji's place to say it but it was… weird. Surely Ash had better things to do right now.

"What time is it?" Eiji asks instead of voicing his concerns. Even with the headache, the familiar mantra plays in his head.

"Almost twelve."

Eiji nearly chokes on his food. "What?!" He screams before wincing at the sound of his voice. Ash is surprisingly nonchalant about the outburst.

"It's not that big of a deal. And you should probably take a shower if you're planning to go back to bed." He tells Eiji, grabbing his plate and sitting back down. Eiji stares, mouth slightly agape before continuing to eat. Maybe he's dreaming, he usually wakes up at seven no matter what.

He doesn't eat much, but Ash glances at his plate and smiles anyway. It feels odd, like Ash knows something he doesn't. Fuck, he probably did something stupid while drunk and Ash is trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Hey Ash," Eiji starts as he gets up. Ash immediately looks up. "Yeah?" He asked, concern practically oozing out of his mouth.

"If I did or said anything weird last night, can you forget all about it?"

Ash's eyes seem to darken. "I don't think I can do that." Before Eiji can ask why, he adds, "Shower first, and then we'll talk."

Eiji doesn't question it. He sits in the tub and eases up as hot water touches his back. His mind tries to fill in the blanks of what happened last night. He had to have done  _ something _ wrong and now he's wasting Ash's time when the blind could be doing… Whatever gangs are supposed to do because no one will tell Eiji anything.

A list of maybes begins to form. Maybe he offended Ash. Maybe he said the wrong thing. Maybe he broke down. Maybe Ash finally saw how pathetic he really is. Maybe he's about to tell Eiji he has to leave—

" _ I'm sorry, I don't wanna go… _ "

A vague memory of last night resurfaces from the depths of Eiji's mind. It confirms his breakdown idea. Ash must've seen him like that, must've realized Eiji doesn't belong here and is going to send him back home no matter what. He can feel tears form again. This is it.

A knock on the door startles his train of thought. "Eiji?" An uncharacteristically quiet voice asks. "You've been in there awhile. Are you alright?"

It doesn't sound like someone who's about to tell Eiji he's going home. It sounds like someone who's just scared and concerned about him. It reminds him of his sister.

"I'm fine." He yells over the sound of the water. Steam is fogging up the already foggy windows but Eiji doesn't care. He sits there just to soak in the feeling of the scalding water and gets out. Ash isn't by the door anymore. He's in the living room, trying his best not to look up, to give Eiji space.

Ash knocks on the door again when Eiji gets an old T-shirt over his head. "You can come in." He tells the blond, sitting down on the edge of the bed. He sits next to Eiji, still keeping a distance, though it's shorter than usual.

Ash speaks first, refusing to meet his gaze. "Earlier I said I couldn't forget what you said last night. You told me you believe you're supposed to be my anchor, that you have to keep me afloat."

Eiji can only hum in agreement.

"You also told me you're drifting." He looks up at Eiji. "And I don't want you to feel that way. I'm not good with talking about emotions or being comforting but if you want me to stay then I'm going to. I'll be here with you for the rest of the day if you want me." He takes another breath, like he was going to say something else, but he doesn't. It doesn't matter though.

It's Eiji's turn to avoid Ash's gaze. He hesitantly reaches for Ash's hand. Ash notices and holds him without a second thought.

"Can you tell me what exactly happened?" Eiji whispers. He probably said too much while drunk, but he doesn't want to reveal anything he hadn't said before. Ash nods and tells him everything, from the crying to the breakdown. He doesn't leave a single detail out. He even apologies for not being in the room when he woke up, mentioning the promise he made to himself to spoil Eiji.

What did Eiji do to deserve him?

"I have to ask again," Ash admits, "who told you a quiet boy is a good boy?" Just hearing the words spoken aloud makes Eiji shiver. Still, Ash just told him everything he wanted to know. It was only fair Eiji did the same thing.

"I thought it was normal," Eiji begins, "for moms to tell you that. I thought she was preparing me for something. But her words kept conflicting with what everyone else would do. By the time I started thinking it wasn't right I…" He gestures to his leg, and he can still hear the distant sound of someone screaming. "I never argued with her about it after I was told I wouldn't be able to compete anymore. There's… it's not as bad as what your parents did—"

"Don't compare pain." Ash interrupts. "It hurt you, Eiji. There's no line you have to cross before you get to talk about it."

Eiji leans into Ash's shoulder, exhausted despite waking up not too long ago. If Ash minds, he doesn't say anything, just wraps an arm around Eiji.

"I'm not gonna send you back home." He tells Eiji. "But I want you to know that you can tell me anything, no matter what. I'll listen, and if you need me to hold you, I'll hold you."

Eiji wants to laugh, wants to say that there's too much to discuss and how all of it combined won't even match a fraction of what Ash has gone through, but he doesn't. Instead, he whispers "When will it stop hurting?"

Ash sucks in a breath. "Honestly, I don't know. But I know it will, eventually. Maybe tomorrow, maybe a year from now, but eventually. And I know when it does stop, I'll be with you."

"You mean it?"

"Of course." Ash smiles, and Eiji can feel the adoration in his voice.

"Can I be selfish again?" Eiji asks. Ash nods. "Can you hold me again? Like last night?"

"Anything for you. I told you I'd be here the whole day."

Eiji smiles and the two bury themselves in the blanket, in a similar position they were in last night. Eiji realizes it's a gesture too intimate for friends, but that's something he can focus on tomorrow.

"Are you sure I'm not wasting your time?" He asks, just to make sure. Ash shakes his head and replies, "Never."

Eiji smiles again with the confirmation, and yawns. "God, I still feel like shit."

Ash laughs, "Yeah, hangovers are a pain. Sleep it off if you need to."

Eiji yawns again, and mutters goodnight in Japanese before drifting off. He can feel Ash's fingers in his hair and it's so gentle he wants to cry.

He wakes up an hour later to the sound of water running outside and to the feeling of emptiness beside him. There's another glass of water on the nightstand. He sits up and reaches for it right as Ash comes back.

"Sorry if I woke you." He gets back in bed, and there's no more distance between them. Eiji shakes his head as he takes a sip. "It's fine. Not sure if I want to get up."

Ash understands. "Hand me that book when you're done?"

Eiji puts the glass down and sees the book Ash is referring to, one that wasn't there before. He hands it to Ash and lies down again. Ash props his pillow again and opens to where he left off. He wasn't lying when he said he would stay.

"Are you sure you don't have anything to do?" Eiji has to ask again. Ash looks down at him. "Do you want me to go?"

"No." Eiji answers, slightly ashamed. He feels Ash's hand in his hair again. "I'll stay as long as you want me to."

Eiji smiles and closes his eyes. There's a lot to unpack but they can take it slow just for today. Tomorrow there will be progress, and maybe Ash is right and one day both of them will stop hurting. He looks forward to that day.

"Thank you."

There's no words, just the sound of pages turning, but Eiji knows. If he does fall asleep it won't be for long, but he'll get to wake up again knowing that Ash is with him.


End file.
